I think I have finally, safely reached the point where I feel comfortable giving travel advice to other mom’s. I’ve got enough “skin in the game,” as it were, when people ask for my advice and expect that I will have a reasonably quick answer. Depending on the asker, I usually have something valuable to say on any subject from jet lag to diaper changing in mid-air and everything in between.
When I really think about it, though, I am trying to STOP THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS of traveling with a family. I’ll be your light. I’ll tell you that you can do it.
It just needs to come down to some really simple, totally obvious things that are the best advice I can give to any traveling family.
Plan Well. The success (or failure) of any trip happens way before the plane takes off. All of the success lies in the planning, and that sometimes happens months before the trip. You need to choose the right destination, make a solid itinerary and take care of the details. Put the time into that and you will truly enjoy every moment of your trip.
Wake Up Early. Maybe you’ve always thought of vacation as a chance to be lazy, but you are doing it wrong. Especially with kids because we all know they wake up at the crack of dawn. Getting up with the sun is the best way to get to know a new locale and feel like a local all at the same time. The early morning hours are an extra special treasure for the traveler. Our favorite thing to do is have a relaxing breakfast soaking up the sun and then be first in line to one of the main attractions. What’s more, the light is beautiful in the morning for photographs, and getting up early and out in the sun is the fastest way to overcome jetlag.
Just do it. We are so quick to analyze and over think every decision and every detail of our lives. When it comes to traveling with kids or taking a vacation from work, there are a lot of good excuses that we can rattle off to keep us at home.
It’s too hard.
We’re too busy.
The kids are too young.
While those are all probably true, they are still just excuses that hold us back from something great. The best part of life is seizing the moment, and those moments happen every minute when you have the courage to pack your bags and and hit the road.
Don’t miss those moments waiting for ‘someday.’ Do it today.
Oh, and bring wipes. Lots of wipes. OVER PACK wipes. You will thank me.
After a deployment, many TDY’s, and a partial short tour, you’d think my military wife meltdowns wouldn’t exist. That I’m learning how to deal…
This is not true.
During our first deployment, I would have a SOLID meltdown once a month. Now that I am looking back on the times, I truly believe I needed the meltdowns to survive.
I wasn’t blaming him for my anger. Because if there was anyone who understood what I was going through- It was HIM.
Emotional tears… not from cutting an onion or having something in your eye. I’m talking about tears that you cannot stop, letting out little kid wails, trying to catch your breath crying.
A good cry helps release toxins from the body that builds up during emotional stress. Crying also reduces your body’s manganese level which definitely impacts your mood.
If you find yourself easily frustrated standing in line at the grocery store and someone leaves their cart in front of you to go get something at the back of the store… cry.
If you are easily frustrated with calling for appointments at military installations… cry.
If you are frustrated with family never coming to visit you especially when you are alone… cry.
If you are frustrated with something that happened at work or at home with your kids/animals… cry.
CRY. IT. OUT.
Its like therapy, only cheaper.
Each tear is emotional baggage leaving your body.
It shows you are human and that you care.
Being upset when the most important person in your life is gone shows that your military relationship means something to you. That you dont want anything to happen to them and that you want them a part of your every day life.
Having an occasional meltdown is healthy and normal.
Of course… You want to stay positive and avoid wallowing but when you love and carea bout someone, it’s natural to feel sadness over their absence.
It’s the truest feeling that you’re relationship is healthy and thriving.
Through these meltdowns you are learning more about yourself as well. You learn to calm yourself down… and that is huge right there… When the most important person in the world isn’t by your side.
Each time I “Lose it” during time away from my husband, I come out stronger. My guess is that you do to.
Believe me when I say this:
A good deployment meltdown only means one thing: YOU GOT THIS.
I am not excessively concerned with material possessions as much as I was a month or two ago. This change has happened, I am aware of it, and it happened fast.
Americans are spenders. Now that I live in Portugal, I cannot believe how HIGH PRICED life is in America. I cannot get over how cheap everything is over here. From eating out, to groceries, to shopping, to traveling- including flights. We have saved the most money we ever have in a month.
I know, I know… I can hear people saying we are getting paid more because of being over seas.Blah blah blah, mumble under your breath all you want about this blog post. But, we are saving more than ever because of 1 thing.
We are less Materialistic all of a sudden.
…PLUS, I would rather buy a trip rather than possessions...
It’s a black hole in life. And everyone gets sucked in. You become dissatisfied with your current possessions and want to buy new things. You purchase these new items to be happy and get rid your old products. Or even… the things you don’t like anymore just start piling up in your house.
Cars, clothes, house goods, cell phones, hats, shoes… everything.
This is very very relieving to me because I no longer base my happiness on my possessions. When I sold our house in Virginia, the day after we were under contract I had a massive garage sale and sold everything. Boy- that was the changing point.
Down sizing felt like a drug high lol! I didn’t need 3 wreaths, I didn’t need 3 pairs of knee high boots, I didn’t need 5 mirrors as decorations. I didn’t need… I could go on forever. GET RID OF IT.
Decorations are my down fall. You DON’T need them. You WAN’T them. Sad to see them go but it feels good.
Whether my bank account has a lot or a little money, it doesn’t change the way I feel about myself. I am going to survive tomorrow. Whether I’m wearing fancy or simple clothes, it doesn’t change how I feel about myself. Half the time, I’m in my favorite yoga pants from Walmart that I wash every other day. Yes- Walmart. Regardless of what I wear or what I have, it doesn’t affect how I feel anymore.
The thing that mind boggles me the most now that we are over here is…. vehicles.
Long story short, I wrecked my husbands truck when he was deployed HAHA! Of course, everything happens when your airman is gone. I felt absolutely awful about his truck. So I bought him a new one. A brand new Chevy. We had $800 in car payments for two newer cars when I was the only one home at the time. What was I thinking. Doesn’t matter if he was home or not… car payments are MATERIALISTIC. There’s really no way around them; however… You need a vehicle… But we went from this gorgeous truck to this little beater volkswagen golf:
… and are happier than ever on our little island. Saving tons of money. We could have shipped vehicles here for free though the military. But we decided to go the less materialistic way. We don’t need something to show that we are making good money. Should we even ship the golf to Germany? WE MAY!
Even though this picture explains why being materialistic is TOUGH in military life… Yikes, want your prized possessions on that boat… Jokes aside.
Things that have helped me while Ive been here:
Limit television… SO HARD. But I really haven’t had an option. We don’t get TV in Portugal. Ad’s aren’t reaching me. I am not becoming less satisfied with things I already have.. comparing my things to new things.
Limit magazines as books/reading material… Omg. WHY was I buying $5 magazines that I would read in one night laying in the bath. Just to make myself feel awful of the things I already had and thinking about new products I wanted.
Don’t go to the mall or walmart. You know you end up with too much. Every. Time… Order things on an app.
Declutter. Throw away everything in your attic. Im serious. Throw away all but 2 jackets. Throw away the 6 cooking spoons when only 1 will do the job. Throw away extra things. AND DONT HAVE YOUR HUSBAND HELP. DONT TELL HIM YOU’RE EVEN DOING IT. Throw it away.
I wish before this move, and before learning it through experience, that someone told me to change. Maybe after you read this you can make the change if you think you’re materialistic, like I used to be. Just remember, at your funeral, NO ONE is going to stand up and say “She had a really nice couch and car and clothes”.Don’t make life about stuff.
Motherhood is awesome. It really is. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing my little kids smile at me or reach for me for comfort. I love being H and N’s momma and wouldn’t change it for the world. Buuuttttttttt……………
Motherhood is hard. Seriously, not an easy thing. Parenthood is no place for wussies. Motherhood is no place for anyone who’s mental and physical endurance is anything less than that of Chuck Norris.
It seems to me in my relatively short time of joining the league of motherhood that BALANCE just might be the key.
Problem is, before we moved to Europe, I couldn’t seem to find that balance anywhere. I taught kindergarten full-time and somewhere in between work and lesson planing, I try to give H and N the attention they needed, spend time with my husband, cook, clean, and try to have at least 5 minutes of me time. That’s hard to fit in a 24-hour window.
I love spending time with H and N. I love spending time with Del. And I especially love the time we all spend together. But I noticed after Harper’s birth, and then our second baby N’s birth, it was so much easier to forget about myself. I would give it all to H and N and Del, and by the end of the day, I would crash in the worst mood. My little hobbies and interests didn’t matter anymore. I had a new hobby and a new interest in the kids, right? Not necessarily… It doesn’t count that way.
While my kids are my new (and favorite!) interest, I realize that letting go of the ‘old’ me wasn’t good for any of us. While I was wrapping myself in momma and wife duties, I was forgetting about myself. Don’t get me wrong, my first and most exciting roles are being that of a wife and mom. But, I had 23 years of ‘me’ before I was wife, and 24 years before I was a mom. I think it’s important that I don’t just throw ‘me’ away.
So in an effort to achieve some sort of balance with my life, I decided to not work while we are living in Europe. It’s not that I cant find a job, its my choice to stay home to find balance. I want to set aside an hour or so here and there to enjoy ‘me’.
I could read a book like the old days. I could take a walk without a time frame of when I needed to turn around. I could do the laundry without having to worry about being in bed at a certain hour. I might organize my closet or clean out the junk drawer. Heck, clean the baseboards! (As weird as that sounds, I actually love to clean. My house is spotless lol!)
Regardless, I believe a little ‘me’ time every now and then is essential and necessary for all parents. Which is why, today, when the kids go to nap time, rather than napping the day away, I am choosing to read my crime book and then do the dishes… Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
Terceira was the third island of the Azores to be discovered in the 15th century, hence its name, which means third. It is the third biggest island of the Azores and the second most populated, after São Miguel. Terceira is known for its natural scenery and rich cultural, as well as for its party and laid-back atmosphere. Terceira Island remains a hidden gem in the middle of the Atlantic. And we are SO very grateful to be assigned to live here for a year with the US Air Force.
Things to do on the Third Island
#1 Explore Angra do Heroismo
Angra (Like the word Angry but Angr-Uh) is classified as a UNESCO World Heritage site. It’s Terceira’s capital city and one of its main attractions.
We love to wander through the cobbled streets of the historic city center and admire the white houses with colorful windows and brightly painted balconies.
Then we love to head to Angra’s picture-perfect bay and stroll along its marina or relax on the nearby bench watching people of the island.
#2 Enjoy the views from Monte Brasil
Monte Brasil is an extinct volcano overlooking Angra do Heroísmo from the south.
Just a short walking distance from the city center, even though I recommend driving up the mountain. It has nice views of Angra and the island.
It’s also a great place for hiking or to relax and have a picnic. There are birds and deer to see, and places for kids to play at.
#3 Swim in the Biscoitos Natural Lava Pools
Swimming here is one of the mandatory things to do in the Azores during the summer months.
The black volcanic stone that you can see in many places around Terceira Island is show in its most beautiful form in Biscoitos, where it created natural swimming pools.
Biscoitos (Portuguese for cookies) is a small village in the northern coast of the island.
#4 Relax on the beaches of Praia da Vitoria
In the city of Praia da Vitória, you can find the only sandy beaches in Terceira.
These black sand beaches surround the beautiful bay of Praia da Vitória, on the east coast of the island.
Its calm waves are perfect for swimming, kayaking or stand up paddling and for kids to not be knocked over. Before you go to the beach, go to the clean outdoor market to get fresh fruit for snacks at the beach.
#5 Spectacular views from Serra do Cume
The Belvedere of Serra do Cume is my absolute favorite of all Terceira’s viewpoints.
It offers the most spectacular view of the island’s patchwork of fields and volcanic stone walls.
#6 Feel the warmth at Furnas do Enxofre
Right in the center of Terceira Island, Furnas do Enxofre are a geothermal site where you can observe another testimony of the island’s volcanic origin.
Follow the visitors’ path to see these Sulphur fumaroles, as well as the untouched landscape of the interior of the island.
#7 Go inside the extinct volcano of Algar Do Carvao
Did you know Terceira island is one of the few places on the planet where you can actually go inside a volcano?
Classified as a natural monument, Algar do Carvão is a lava tube from an extinct volcano.
Today this spectacular place is covered by lush vegetation and rare stalactites with a lot of steps to get to the bottom. Be ready for the leg burn.
There is also a small lagoon at the bottom, as well as a wider area called Cathedral.
Classical music concerts are sometimes held here, due to the good acoustics of this natural structure…. Let me report back to you on the concert. We will NOT MISS ONE.
#8 Party with the Locals
Terceira is Azores’ amusement park, as locals like to call it!!!!!
The island is home to the biggest popular festivity, the Sanjoaninas, a 10-day festival dedicated to São João that takes place every year in June in Angra do Heroísmo.
In August, Praia da Vitória hosts its own summer festival, a week-long event including musical concerts and parade. Best of all, food trucks! Don’t forget to order your SANGRIA. They make red and white sangria. I prefer white.
#9 Watch a Bull Fight
Bull fights happen nearly every single night on the island. People get off work, pick up their families and head to bull fights. People line the street to watch the entertainment of the bull fighters.
#10 Drive the Whole Island
Rent a car, just go and explore. You will probably need to know how to drive a stick shift car however! The island is very safe and there hasn’t been one area that I have felt hostility being an outsider. The island speaks Portuguese however 90% of the people do speak English. No matter where you stop you will always be able to strike up conversation and learn about the area. It is a perfect island for a family trip!
You do not need google maps to drive around the island. There are brightly colored, unique to the island signs that have arrows on how to drive around the island. #JUSTGO
There you have it. All the best things to do in Terceira, Azores to experience the island like a local and make the best of your time in one of the most beautiful kept secrets in the ocean.
Next up, We have reservations at the Caprica Eco-Lodge in Algave. They are giving us 50% off to blog and post pictures about them. I found them on Instagram and fell in love with the little cabins they offer in the mountains. I am over the moon excited for our family of 4 stay with them and excited to offer their perks to people who come to Terceira!
Terciera, Azores, Portugal…. WHAT? WHERE? Lajes Air Base… HUH?
When I found out my husband was going to be here for a year, I had noidea it even existed. It’s a little dot on the map in middle of the ocean.. actually, on a regular map it probably doesn’t even show up. You need to google map it to actually see the dots. If I didn’t even know about this place, what does the rest of the world have to offer? What else am I missing in life? ALOT. This place was unknown to me a year ago and now its my life! We live here? Unreal… Our daily life has changed, duh! It’s something I never imagined living on. But it is a year I will forever remember.
We live on 1 of the 9 Azorean Islands. 2 hours from Europe and 5 hours from the US. The particular island we are on is named Terciera. Our little village on the island is called Fontinhas. Population 1,500! Total population of the island is 56,000. A lot of little villages and two main towns- Praia and Angra. 1/4 of the island is mountains and 3/4 of the island is farm land.
Fontinhas is small, quiet and PERFECT. It’s 101% rural. We see the ocean in front of our house and we see the mountain behind our house. Flowers and Green are everywhere year round. This is the view out our kitchen window when I wash dishes and make coffee. Gardens, Cows to be milked, bright houses, and the sky. B.E.A.U. tiful.
Theres only 1 main road through the town with little side streets that are dead ends. There are no stop lights, no gas stations, and only about 4 little markets perfect distance apart from each other. No restaurants just coffee shops inside of the small markets. Just houses, 1 church, land and animals.
It’s difficult being stuck at home all day with such small markets. Little to do. It’s a lifestyle change for sure, but we are embracing it. Harper mentioned in the car… “MOM, Where is PJ Maxx at?! I miss it!”
(PJ Maxx= My favorite store in the whole world, TJ Maxx)
Harper and I try to walk the road every day to get out of the house and I decided to finally take our camera. We say hi to our favorite animals- especially this ADORABLE little pup- on the busy road. When I say busy, it’s not big city busy but tractors and speeding cars. There isn’t a speed limit in town… I feel the wind from car mirrors just about hitting us when we walk. The biggest downfall of Fontinhas is no sidewalks. But thats what makes Portugal unique. Dodge the cars lol YIKES… I make sure Harps is always touching the wall.
We make sure to hug the wall to also not get run over by tractors. Talking about speed limit again, the tractors ARE NOT going slow. The farmers work all day long, and the work hard. When we watch the farmer work behind our house, it is fascinating to see how much he can get done in an hour or two… They feed, water, move cows, goats, chickens, sheep, check fences, check gardens, spray weeds, do it all. The farmers tend to not speak english because they don’t interact.. We just wave and smile! Im waiting for the farmer to look at the kids and point at his tractor and give them a ride- they would DIE! By the time we leave, it’s going to happen!
Our walk is about 2 miles long. A mile to the school house and a mile back to our house. We oddly love to find snails on the walls of houses. We bring them back to the house…only if they don’t come out of their shells and touch us- then we end up throwing them because they are gross. Harper loses her mind screaming when they come out of their shell and touch her. I know she wont forget these dumb snails!!!!
Fontinhas has a church that is GORGEOUS. We walk past it and Harper loves to go in and say prayers for everyone in the family. “Please keep_____ safe”. We aren’t church goers, but we believe and love reading kids bible stories. Being in here is serene, weirdly still and quiet. The Sunday sermons are in Portuguese language. OBVI! SO we probably wont go for service. The pictures don’t do the Fontinhas church justice.
Last but not least about our life in Fontinhas, we have met the COOLEST people already. Most of them are Portuguese adults who love my kids, with the exception of two younger girls who work at the market across the street. We are meeting people who go in and out of the market and on our walks. They may not speak English, but for example, one of the old men we love always motions his hand down by his knees, showing us a height. It’s his way he asks where Nash is. When he sees Nash, he gives high fives and rubs his head. Nash will say Ciao, but no other words. Love is shown no matter barrier. We love our little Market owner who teaches us Portuguese (our landlords sister). We have met our landlords brothers who happen to be farmers too. They come in and out of the market when we are there. Theres old women who walk up and down out road carrying veggies who we always wave at, as well. I need to take pictures of them all so we forever have their pictures… I only have one picture of one of our new friends…
well… Its not exactly a close up because half the time I’m scared of her. I thought she was dead the other day!!! It’s an old frail nun who does not move from a window in her house. She watches out the window all day long and doesn’t move her head side to side. She has tunnel vision. I found out that she falls asleep actually on the window. I really thought she was dead and leaning up! No joke- So we have started to make sure she always waves back. We will wait until she sees us. Here is harper waving across the street to her. She has started to smile to us… Making progress. Maybe by Christmas we will be able to actually see her up close and we can give her a present. Im again, oddly, attached to certain little things like this in our daily life.
Especially this perfect little cow behind my house. The kids and I check on her every morning! WE AREN’T IN KANSAS ANYMORE, TOTO! This is definitely not Virginian living anymore when we are hanging onto entertainment like this!
We get to pick fresh fruit from our landlords backyard. Apples, Limes, and Figs. We have learned we all hate figs, we like lime water, and we continue to love apples!
What are you supposed to do when you need to move to a new house, to a place you’ve never been before. Let alone an island in Europe?!
When your significant other receives orders for the military its called a PCS. Permanent Change of Station. PCS’s are not easy. PCS’s are stressful and TONS of work. Sometimes your husband has to report to an area before you have left the old house. You are alone and waiting for the movers to arrive and pack you stuff. Sometimes he is present to help. I know people who have moved over 15 times, I know people who have moved just a couple times. Either amount of number, it doesn’t get easier. It just gets more efficient. Emotions come with every move.
When Del received orders to move to the Azores in Portugal. Our first thought was we will 100% utilize Military housing since this location will only be a year!
But… This particular military base closed down housing. They don’t even have dorms. Only a handful of Portuguese Air Men live on base. The American Air Men have to find their own place to live.
Yikes, Where to start…
Del thought he would live in an AirBNB for a year. But it would add up to way too much money. We didn’t know where to even start looking.
God works in mysterious ways. More like saying “The World really is a small world”. You always even up finding someone who has connections.
I posted on Facebook that Del was going on this short tour. I immediately received a message from a mother of one of my previous kindergarten students who I taught in Montana. She happened to be stationed at Lajes in the Azores years ago before they made this base family “unaccompanied”. She promised everything will work out. She happened to have a friend of a friend whose husband was here for a short tour. She connected us in a group message.
I made a connection with Jessica immediately. She happened to be on the island with her kids visiting her husband for a month. I immediately asked where they were staying AND what they were driving. She sent me pictures of everything.
Within an hour- I committed to renting their house and buying their island bomber (an old Volkswagon- AWESOME!!!) for Del.
Del messaged the Landowner- Sergio- and set up a date and time to see the house. He officially committed once he was here on the island in June.
Here are the pictures of our wonderful, temporary, little island home. It is a “Minimalistic” type of year. We don’t have a lot. On purpose. I sent pictures and frames with Del so we would have a few things to make it home. Everything else can be bought again. It’s honestly perfect and easy to clean and organize! It is a STRESS FREE Home. We will only be here for 10 more months until we need to find a 4 year home in Germany.
TRUST YOUR JOURNEY
If I had to give a new military wife advice, I would tell her to breath. To TRASH stuff that you haven’s used in a year. Limit it at a year. If you didn’t use it, you don’t need it to live. Sell things on Facebook and in your yard. Do not over pack. You can get new things at your new location. No matter where you are in the world, there will be bedding, kitchen supplies, furniture, and bathroom essentials. If you do move stuff, do not stress the small things. What makes it makes it, what doesn’t doesn’t. You are alive and breathing and thats what you need to remember. If you haven’t seen the house you are moving into, relax. When you get there and if you like it- GREAT. If you get there and do not like it, move. Just Breath and trust your journey. #JUSTGO
We all know this. Kids can be little shits. They can be rabid, uncontrollable animals at times. They will run away from you in the opposite direction than you were walking. So how the hell are you supposed to travel with them?
Harper is 4 and Nash is 2. They have been to more states than you probably have. Harper moved from Montana to Virginia when she was 2 months old. We drove for 4 days in a car to make it to our new Air Force Base.
Harper and Nash also have an Uncle who played college football. We didn’t miss 1 game in 4 years. We went up to NY and down to Florida, We went inland to the Carolinas and stayed home for home games. We went up and down the coast almost every other weekend. They are seasoned travelers…. IN A CAR.
But what about an Airplane? That is a new problem I have encountered recently. Not only an airplane, but an overnight flight to Europe. Not only those dynamics, but I will be ALONE with the both of them on an airplane.
If I can do it, You can do it. This is the International Terminal in Boston.
Here are my steps of how I prepared for the flight and how it worked out:
I am on a facebook Mommy Page. It is the Mommy Bible. I posted there first and got tons of suggestions. As usual, I have to pick and choose the advice I wanted to take and which I wanted to kick to the curb.
1- Put the baby in his/her carseat on the plane. Buy them their own seat. It is 100% worth the extra money spent. Carseats are kids comfort zones. Even though I’ve seen my kids turn into a red, raging bull being buckled in, their carseat is where they love and need to be. Nash’s car seat is HUGE though. Another worry about if it would even fit into a row of seats. It did. It was a tight fit but it worked and he was happy.
2- Buy a Car seat Travel stroller. DUH! How are you supposed to move the carseat from one gate to another. His car seat is a 4 position, convertible, heavy duty car seat. Not one that actually fits into a stroller. The travel stroller is more like a “furniture dolly” made for a carseat. It folds up very small and fits into an overhead compartment. It moves like a carry on suitcase through an airport. Easy Peasy!!
3- Buy a Travel Foot rest blowup pillow for the child not in a car seat. I was also told to get one of these for the overnight flight. This extends the seat I bought for my 4 year old so she was able to lay down. It fills in the area where your feet should belong. Its soft material and Harper 100% benefitted from having it. I was worried about blowing it up in midst of the chaos of people getting on the plane but I sat down and did it. It took only about 1 minute to blow up fully. People were staring at it as they were walking by. Surely they were jealous we had one!
4- SNACKS. One word: TARGET. Go get snacks beforehand. DO NOT buy anything from the Hudson News Stores in airports. Everything is overpriced and they are all little amounts of food. Not worthy for kids. Also buy snacks that are resealable. Kids will take 5 bites of something and then want to switch to another snack. I hate crumbs in bags so resealable it a must. Go up and down the isles in Target grocery and find anything resealable and get it. Better to be over prepared than under prepared. Extras will be eaten later on.
5- Put everything in a folder. Passports, Plane tickets. One spot and easily accessibility. Put into a clear zip pouch so if your child grabs your stuff out of the bag, nothing will fall out of the folder and nothing will be lost. Last thing you want to do is bend over to gather spilt stuff and both kids take off running in separate directions! MY NIGHTMARE!
6- ASK AIRLINE WORKERS FOR HELP. When you are checking in for an airline, when you are at the gate, when you are getting onto the plane, when you are sitting on the plane… ASK FOR HELP. I have 3 instances where asking for help made traveling much easier. I had to check in at a Kiosk. Harper would not move her carry on suitcase. That was her job I gave her. I had two suitcases, one kids in a car seat stroller and one kids on the loose- HELP. I needed to get to the main kiosk to show them our passports. Just Ask. At Logan Boston International Airport, you have to take an escalator down to the jet bridge to get onto the plane. Yeah, no… I cannot do that with my situation. I asked for help. They put us on the handicapped elevator and we made it to the plane with no issues. Getting onto the plane. I had my hands full again. One male airline attendant carried the carseat to our row and a female took our carry on luggage while i carried a sleeping baby while trying to get Harper to the correct row. It all went very smooth!
7- Do not be afraid of Melatonin. For the kids, not you. I don’t think its a good choice for a mother to be so so so sleepy when you have your kids to take care of. I bought them Zarbees Grape Melatonin Chewable’s. They ate them like candy. Of course I gave them the correct dosage but the kids wanted more. Giving them to a child isn’t a problem. It hit Nash asap, it hit Harper in 45 minutes. They were out for the whole overnight flight without any tossing and turning, restless moments. They were comfortably, happy asleep.
8- PJ’s. Doesn’t matter what time of the day you are traveling. Put your kids in Pajamas and socks. Take their shoes off on airplanes. Kids like to be shoeless.
9- Be friendly. You never know when a smile or a laugh will get you MORE HELP. Also, adult interaction keeps you at bay. Don’t over focus yourself on the kids. I read this in a book recently and I stick to it. Keep an eye on your 12-3-6-9. Head on a swivel and stay aware of your surroundings. Just be a good, kind mommy!
By the way- being friendly wears off on your kids. Harper is the friendliest little girl. Before our long over night flight, she wanted to get up and move. I let her. I told her to do her ballet walk over to the wall and back. I told her to floss over to the wall and back. I told her to hop scotch over to the wall and back. Before you knew it, people were watching her and smiling and laughing. One guy actually did the hop scotch with her. I’m sure it relieved travel stresses on him as well as Harper… Just BE KIND!
10- Once you get to your destination, Beer, Wine or a stiff drink. Whatever your liking is. YOU DESERVE IT! Let your kids run and sit back and drink for 5 minutes. Then get back to business of being a fantastic MOTHER.
We are about to be traveling more through Europe for the next 5 years. We will be in cars, trains, airplanes. Of course, with age, traveling will become easier. But now, I am grateful to have made it without crying myself.
Just Go… Even if you are not allowed to. Just Go… Even if you have never been there before. Just Go… Even if you are already settled in life. Just Go… even though there is a long list of things to get done before you leave. Just Go… when your mom and mother in law say so. (They always know best)
“Just Go” has been my go-to saying for the past two months.
Our Wedding in Montana.
My husband, Del, is in the United States Air Force. He has been in since December of 2014. We were married in June of 2014. We had our first baby June of 2015 and our second baby August of 2017. Being in the Air Force, we have been apart a lot. We have only celebrated 1 out of 5 wedding anniversaries together. He has missed birthdays, holidays, recitals, concerts, moments I needed to celebrate for my career. Simply put, we have been apart a lot. This comes with the commitment to military.
In November of 2018, Del was told that he would be leaving on a short tour. The words short tour is totally opposite of what it means. It is not short, and it is not a wonderful “tour” of somewhere you have never been. It is a yearlong assignment of working full time in a foreign land.
In this case, the foreign land Lajes Air Base. In the Azores. In Portugal.
Praia de Vitoria, Terceira, Azores, Portugal. Where he was going.
Where the hell is Lajes. What are the Azores? And how do you even pronounce “Lajes”?
(It took me a week to get the word out fluently)
When he received this assignment, I kept it to myself for about a month. Being in the Air Force, you learn that nothing is real until it happens. Not to get your hopes up or hopes down. He was excited (of course- men don’t understand a woman’s emotions). Everyone told him this place was a once in a lifetime place to live. I was dying inside though.
It finally became “orders”. Official orders. We were really
going to go through with this job assignment. His follow on, where we will meet
up after the short tour, was also attached to the orders. We would be meeting
up in Kaiserslautern, Germany after the year being apart.
The official orders broke me down to tears. HUGE CHANGE is
coming.
I haven’t mentioned that I am a teacher. No matter what, I show up to work with a smile and excited to turn on lightbulbs with 5-6 year old kindergarteners. I was energetic, happy, reading books with so much character, making the kids laugh and giving them as much love as I could… But deep down I was depressed. I would put my face in front of my air vents in my car to dry my wet eyes before walking into work about 3 out of 5 days a week.
How am I supposed to live a year without my best friend, my lover, my protector. How was I supposed to work full time, get the kids to two separate daycares every morning, pick them up after a long days work, get them fed, bathed, asleep WHILE taking care of my self. How was I supposed to stay home and keep to my introverted self when I have fall of my in-laws 5 minutes away and I desperately needed loving interaction. I was depressed thinking about it and it hadn’t even started yet. I didn’t want the day of him leaving to come so I ignored everything about the Short Tour. I refused to google Lajes. I refused to google the island. I refused to bring it up on my own to anyone asking how I was.
But the week of him coming eventually came.
I was depressed and panicked about “when am I going to see him again”. People would ask me that question, which is not easy to answer being a Military Wife. The answer was I DON’T KNOW WHEN. Which people would look at me like… How do you not know…
So being panicked, I booked a flight to see him a few days before he left. It was my first moment of Just Go. I booked it for the end of July. A month before I had to go back to work. I would be there for a week while my amazing In-Laws would be watching out 2 kids. I am more than lucky to have them 5 minutes from me. No one had to travel to me to help me out. I literally dropped the kids off at their house the night before my flight. Which made my decision of “Just Go” more simple.
But there is more to this blog post than “Just Going” for a
week.
Like I said, I was depressed. I love Del more than myself. I
love him unconditionally. I love him in my dreams and when I am awake. I cannot
say it enough. I love him. I was depressed that I would be going 52 weeks without
him.
He left for Lajes when I was in my last week of teaching for the school year.
Norfolk, Virginia. Tough to smile when he is leaving for a year.
That week went very smooth being alone. My mom came the day school was out for the summer. Long story short with my mom- She was battling a blood infection when she came to visit me and the kids. We didn’t want to go out a lot because she needed to stay healthy and let the antibiotics work their magic. So I stayed home all day with her. The kids loved having Gaga there, I loved having my momma there, but it wasn’t my husband. She saw that I was depressed.
There was one particular night that I was trying to cry myself to sleep but I couldn’t gather myself. I went to our spare bedroom where my mother was. She saw how BIG OF A MESS I was, and it was only week two. I laid it all on her. I laid all of my pros being alone and all of my cons being alone. She sat and listened. She’s honestly one of the only people I know who sits backs and listens. Awkward silence doesn’t exist with her. She lets me talk. She knows when I am done and them speaks up. This night, when she spoke up she said….
Just go.
Move to Lajes. Who cares if it is unaccompanied orders. If
you can move there, Just go. Pay for it. Leave your job to be with him. Just go
and be happy. Just go and be with your family of 4.
That was the beginning of this story.
I CHOSE TO GO. I CHOSE TO UPROOT MY LIFE AND MOVE TO PORTUGAL. WHY NOT?!!
Last hugs in the home I brought them to as itty bitty newborns.
I put the house up for sale with a realtor on a Friday morning. By Friday night, my house was under contract. HOLY MOLY- What a sign from God. We agreed to close in a month. Houses usually close around 60-90 days. Mine was 30 days. Perfect. What did I need to deal with next?
When I found out the house was under contract that Friday night, I had a garage sale that Saturday and Sunday. JUST GO for it. I didn’t hold back. I thought about shipping everything to Germany when the time came. I thought about possibly having damaged goods, broken goods, stolen/lost goods, and I realized I didn’t want to have to deal with filing claims and not getting the money we deserved back. So, I sold everything up front. I made enough money to buy 3 international one-way flights to the Azores. I made enough money to even pay off a little bit of debt.
All we packed for the year. Hint: ALWAYS get a luggage cart. Don’t “Tough It” through an airport. ALWAYS make things easier.
I got rid of everything. Everything but our items that we are emotionally attached to. Our storage unit only has 2 mattresses, 2 bed frames, and some memorabilia that I won’t ever hand off. I legitimately sold everything and then took a couple car full of items to the storage unit.
I went into my school district office and turned in my badge
and computer and then went into my school and said an emotional goodbye to my
amazing principal and my amazing teacher’s aide who became my best friend over
the years.
As far as selling the house, it was not easy and was not completely
smooth. I had to sign everything with a Power of Attorney since Del was not
present. Furthermore, the buyers wanted to fix dumb little things. I don’t have
time for little things. I don’t have time for contractors to work on the house
we aren’t going to be living in anymore. So, I used the excuse “Alone with two
kids” and “Time crunched to move to Portugal” and the buyers agreed to by as
is. I even sold the house without front door keys. Who knew where they went? Not
me. We never locked our door. All I turned over was the one garage door opener!
I got last appointments scheduled and taken care of for
myself and the kids. Shots were all up to date. Medications were picked up for
the year. And any important medical paperwork was in my hand.
I went to the local library and got passports for myself and
the two kids. I expedited the process, paid extra to receive them faster, and
prayed they would get here in time for our flights.
The worst part of this story. Our dogs. Our two black labs
that we have had for 8 and 6 years. Our two dogs that we bought with they were
8 weeks old. Our two dogs that my kids love so much. My kids lay on them, pull
their ears and tails, kiss them, play with them. What was I going to do with my
dogs?
This is a part of this story I have failed to mention to anyone because I still cry over what I have gone through. I feel like less than a person but hey, now that I know it worked out I’m opening up about it. I asked everyone in my family to take them. No one would. Everyone already has dogs. My two dogs would be too much for anyone to take on at a spur of the moment.
We could take the dogs to Germany after the year short tour
but finding a house to rent in Germany was near impossible with two big dogs.
Also, we are travelers. We are planning to travel every weekend while we are overseas.
Who is going to dog sit? Would the dogs be okay on a 10-hour flight? What about
being in confinement in Germany- the German vet withholds them to make sure
they aren’t bringing any diseases into their country. What about the cost of
having the dogs fly? Is this a little too much for a dog to be put through? I
made this decision with Del over the phone. They simply had to be adopted by
someone who will love them in the US. I was going to have to do this alone.
So, I bawled my eyes out filling out Lab Rescue forms to
surrender them to new owners. I COULD NOT drop them off at the pound. I had to
have them in good hands. I had to choose who took them. I had to give the
people their dog food bowls, their balls and beanie babies, their kennels,
their leases and collars. I had to find someone fast to help me out.
The Lab Rescue of Greater Richmond contacted me through the forms I filled out and set up an in-home visit. A lady came to see our puppies at home and how they were behaved. She said she never has seen Labs be more impeccably behaved. They sat, they kissed, they high-fived and shook, they layed down, they showed the lady that they go outside to go potty. Made me cry because the pups didn’t know why the lady was there. I felt so guilty. When she left, I laid on the floor hugging them.
They were put up on the lab adoption pages on social media
and emails. There were over 100 likes on social media of strangers loving my
dogs, and over 40 comments of mostly women begging their significant other to
let them get the dogs. No one came through, however.
We were down to my last week of being home. I had an empty house, I had my passports, I was about to close the house at the lawyer’s office to hand over our 1 garage door opener, our suitcases were packed, yet I still had the dogs. What was I going to do?!
God came through for me. A girl named Haley was so very kind enough to Foster my dogs when I left. When I met her, I had such a good vibe with her that I 100% trusted her. She took the dogs to her home a few days before our flights. A few days after our flights, the dogs were adopted into a forever home.
I keep telling myself, people who adopt old dogs have the biggest hearts. People who want someone else’s dogs rather than puppies truly are special people in this world. Our dogs went to a Navy couple who were expecting their first baby and wanted trustworthy dogs. My dogs couldn’t have been a more perfect puzzle piece. I PRAY that the new baby loves on them like my babies did.
I feel less of a human being after that situation. I never in a million years thought I would be able to do this to my dogs. I am in contact with the new family and they send me pictures. I cry. I dry my tears. I will always think of them as MY dogs and get choked up. They are my fur-babies, but my husband and my own kids mean more. The dogs will be okay. As long as I keep getting pictures of them laying in these people’s beds and on their couches! They definitely are well taken care of.
So I sold the house, paid off twenty thousand dollars in debt, resigned from teaching, surrendered the dogs, booked international flights, and now here we are…
First day back with Del. Standing on our new house’s beautiful patio.
You think the kids are happy?!
A family of 4 in Azores, Portugal. I have never been so happy in my heart with this huge decision.
I texted my mom and mother in law a few days after I got here:
“I truly am proud of myself for doing this all by myself. I have been though a lot the past month, and I feel like I deserve this piece of paradise. I have felt myself transform as a woman. Other than my wedding day, my two children’s births, this has been one of the happiest moments of my life. I am so in love with Del and I am so happy to be back with him, with the kids, in a once of a lifetime location.”
We will be here until June 2020, and in Germany July 2020.
Just Go… Even if you are not allowed to. Just Go… Even if you have never been there before. Just Go… Even if you are already settled in life. Just Go… even though there is a long list of things to get done before you leave. Just Go… when your mom and mother in law say so.
Keep an eye on our travels! Now that we are in Europe, our goal is to save save save and travel travel travel. I will teach you my ins and outs of making it to new countries within budget- EH- A little bit over budget!
Rocking Bryces 