I think I have finally, safely reached the point where I feel comfortable giving travel advice to other mom’s. I’ve got enough “skin in the game,” as it were, when people ask for my advice and expect that I will have a reasonably quick answer. Depending on the asker, I usually have something valuable to say on any subject from jet lag to diaper changing in mid-air and everything in between.
When I really think about it, though, I am trying to STOP THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS of traveling with a family. I’ll be your light. I’ll tell you that you can do it.
It just needs to come down to some really simple, totally obvious things that are the best advice I can give to any traveling family.
Plan Well. The success (or failure) of any trip happens way before the plane takes off. All of the success lies in the planning, and that sometimes happens months before the trip. You need to choose the right destination, make a solid itinerary and take care of the details. Put the time into that and you will truly enjoy every moment of your trip.
Wake Up Early. Maybe you’ve always thought of vacation as a chance to be lazy, but you are doing it wrong. Especially with kids because we all know they wake up at the crack of dawn. Getting up with the sun is the best way to get to know a new locale and feel like a local all at the same time. The early morning hours are an extra special treasure for the traveler. Our favorite thing to do is have a relaxing breakfast soaking up the sun and then be first in line to one of the main attractions. What’s more, the light is beautiful in the morning for photographs, and getting up early and out in the sun is the fastest way to overcome jetlag.
Just do it. We are so quick to analyze and over think every decision and every detail of our lives. When it comes to traveling with kids or taking a vacation from work, there are a lot of good excuses that we can rattle off to keep us at home.
It’s too hard.
We’re too busy.
The kids are too young.
While those are all probably true, they are still just excuses that hold us back from something great. The best part of life is seizing the moment, and those moments happen every minute when you have the courage to pack your bags and and hit the road.
Don’t miss those moments waiting for ‘someday.’ Do it today.
Oh, and bring wipes. Lots of wipes. OVER PACK wipes. You will thank me.
Motherhood is awesome. It really is. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing my little kids smile at me or reach for me for comfort. I love being H and N’s momma and wouldn’t change it for the world. Buuuttttttttt……………
Motherhood is hard. Seriously, not an easy thing. Parenthood is no place for wussies. Motherhood is no place for anyone who’s mental and physical endurance is anything less than that of Chuck Norris.
It seems to me in my relatively short time of joining the league of motherhood that BALANCE just might be the key.
Problem is, before we moved to Europe, I couldn’t seem to find that balance anywhere. I taught kindergarten full-time and somewhere in between work and lesson planing, I try to give H and N the attention they needed, spend time with my husband, cook, clean, and try to have at least 5 minutes of me time. That’s hard to fit in a 24-hour window.
I love spending time with H and N. I love spending time with Del. And I especially love the time we all spend together. But I noticed after Harper’s birth, and then our second baby N’s birth, it was so much easier to forget about myself. I would give it all to H and N and Del, and by the end of the day, I would crash in the worst mood. My little hobbies and interests didn’t matter anymore. I had a new hobby and a new interest in the kids, right? Not necessarily… It doesn’t count that way.
While my kids are my new (and favorite!) interest, I realize that letting go of the ‘old’ me wasn’t good for any of us. While I was wrapping myself in momma and wife duties, I was forgetting about myself. Don’t get me wrong, my first and most exciting roles are being that of a wife and mom. But, I had 23 years of ‘me’ before I was wife, and 24 years before I was a mom. I think it’s important that I don’t just throw ‘me’ away.
So in an effort to achieve some sort of balance with my life, I decided to not work while we are living in Europe. It’s not that I cant find a job, its my choice to stay home to find balance. I want to set aside an hour or so here and there to enjoy ‘me’.
I could read a book like the old days. I could take a walk without a time frame of when I needed to turn around. I could do the laundry without having to worry about being in bed at a certain hour. I might organize my closet or clean out the junk drawer. Heck, clean the baseboards! (As weird as that sounds, I actually love to clean. My house is spotless lol!)
Regardless, I believe a little ‘me’ time every now and then is essential and necessary for all parents. Which is why, today, when the kids go to nap time, rather than napping the day away, I am choosing to read my crime book and then do the dishes… Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
We all know this. Kids can be little shits. They can be rabid, uncontrollable animals at times. They will run away from you in the opposite direction than you were walking. So how the hell are you supposed to travel with them?
Harper is 4 and Nash is 2. They have been to more states than you probably have. Harper moved from Montana to Virginia when she was 2 months old. We drove for 4 days in a car to make it to our new Air Force Base.
Harper and Nash also have an Uncle who played college football. We didn’t miss 1 game in 4 years. We went up to NY and down to Florida, We went inland to the Carolinas and stayed home for home games. We went up and down the coast almost every other weekend. They are seasoned travelers…. IN A CAR.
But what about an Airplane? That is a new problem I have encountered recently. Not only an airplane, but an overnight flight to Europe. Not only those dynamics, but I will be ALONE with the both of them on an airplane.
If I can do it, You can do it. This is the International Terminal in Boston.
Here are my steps of how I prepared for the flight and how it worked out:
I am on a facebook Mommy Page. It is the Mommy Bible. I posted there first and got tons of suggestions. As usual, I have to pick and choose the advice I wanted to take and which I wanted to kick to the curb.
1- Put the baby in his/her carseat on the plane. Buy them their own seat. It is 100% worth the extra money spent. Carseats are kids comfort zones. Even though I’ve seen my kids turn into a red, raging bull being buckled in, their carseat is where they love and need to be. Nash’s car seat is HUGE though. Another worry about if it would even fit into a row of seats. It did. It was a tight fit but it worked and he was happy.
2- Buy a Car seat Travel stroller. DUH! How are you supposed to move the carseat from one gate to another. His car seat is a 4 position, convertible, heavy duty car seat. Not one that actually fits into a stroller. The travel stroller is more like a “furniture dolly” made for a carseat. It folds up very small and fits into an overhead compartment. It moves like a carry on suitcase through an airport. Easy Peasy!!
3- Buy a Travel Foot rest blowup pillow for the child not in a car seat. I was also told to get one of these for the overnight flight. This extends the seat I bought for my 4 year old so she was able to lay down. It fills in the area where your feet should belong. Its soft material and Harper 100% benefitted from having it. I was worried about blowing it up in midst of the chaos of people getting on the plane but I sat down and did it. It took only about 1 minute to blow up fully. People were staring at it as they were walking by. Surely they were jealous we had one!
4- SNACKS. One word: TARGET. Go get snacks beforehand. DO NOT buy anything from the Hudson News Stores in airports. Everything is overpriced and they are all little amounts of food. Not worthy for kids. Also buy snacks that are resealable. Kids will take 5 bites of something and then want to switch to another snack. I hate crumbs in bags so resealable it a must. Go up and down the isles in Target grocery and find anything resealable and get it. Better to be over prepared than under prepared. Extras will be eaten later on.
5- Put everything in a folder. Passports, Plane tickets. One spot and easily accessibility. Put into a clear zip pouch so if your child grabs your stuff out of the bag, nothing will fall out of the folder and nothing will be lost. Last thing you want to do is bend over to gather spilt stuff and both kids take off running in separate directions! MY NIGHTMARE!
6- ASK AIRLINE WORKERS FOR HELP. When you are checking in for an airline, when you are at the gate, when you are getting onto the plane, when you are sitting on the plane… ASK FOR HELP. I have 3 instances where asking for help made traveling much easier. I had to check in at a Kiosk. Harper would not move her carry on suitcase. That was her job I gave her. I had two suitcases, one kids in a car seat stroller and one kids on the loose- HELP. I needed to get to the main kiosk to show them our passports. Just Ask. At Logan Boston International Airport, you have to take an escalator down to the jet bridge to get onto the plane. Yeah, no… I cannot do that with my situation. I asked for help. They put us on the handicapped elevator and we made it to the plane with no issues. Getting onto the plane. I had my hands full again. One male airline attendant carried the carseat to our row and a female took our carry on luggage while i carried a sleeping baby while trying to get Harper to the correct row. It all went very smooth!
7- Do not be afraid of Melatonin. For the kids, not you. I don’t think its a good choice for a mother to be so so so sleepy when you have your kids to take care of. I bought them Zarbees Grape Melatonin Chewable’s. They ate them like candy. Of course I gave them the correct dosage but the kids wanted more. Giving them to a child isn’t a problem. It hit Nash asap, it hit Harper in 45 minutes. They were out for the whole overnight flight without any tossing and turning, restless moments. They were comfortably, happy asleep.
8- PJ’s. Doesn’t matter what time of the day you are traveling. Put your kids in Pajamas and socks. Take their shoes off on airplanes. Kids like to be shoeless.
9- Be friendly. You never know when a smile or a laugh will get you MORE HELP. Also, adult interaction keeps you at bay. Don’t over focus yourself on the kids. I read this in a book recently and I stick to it. Keep an eye on your 12-3-6-9. Head on a swivel and stay aware of your surroundings. Just be a good, kind mommy!
By the way- being friendly wears off on your kids. Harper is the friendliest little girl. Before our long over night flight, she wanted to get up and move. I let her. I told her to do her ballet walk over to the wall and back. I told her to floss over to the wall and back. I told her to hop scotch over to the wall and back. Before you knew it, people were watching her and smiling and laughing. One guy actually did the hop scotch with her. I’m sure it relieved travel stresses on him as well as Harper… Just BE KIND!
10- Once you get to your destination, Beer, Wine or a stiff drink. Whatever your liking is. YOU DESERVE IT! Let your kids run and sit back and drink for 5 minutes. Then get back to business of being a fantastic MOTHER.
We are about to be traveling more through Europe for the next 5 years. We will be in cars, trains, airplanes. Of course, with age, traveling will become easier. But now, I am grateful to have made it without crying myself.
Rocking Bryces 